Championship Secured: Knee Damaged

After 3 points into the game by our team (one coming from my direct assist), a concussion-like collision with an opposing team sent shockwaves up my newly rehabilitated leg and doctor cleared knee, jolting my knee laterally and sending me to the turf. When I stood up my knee was loose and my spirits sank.

Backing up just a bit may be helpful for those not previously following my knee injury story on HansonHarmony. 1.5 yrs ago, just a few days before Christmas 2006, I blew my knee out on a 1-1 drive on goal that was unimpeded and self contained. My knee hyper extended, my Lateral Collateral Ligament detached (not good) and my Articuate Complex Ligament on the backside of my knee severed (even worse and without repair can immobilize the victim). After a traumatic surgery to repair the ligaments and realign the knee I began a very serious and painful recovery process filled with physical therapy and delayed strength training.

I began my foray into indoor soccer last fall and was highly excited to rejoin the ranks of the risky and aging 30+ mens on the same team I had formed a year earlier. Though the team had changed dramatically, the passion for the game persisted and we made a run for a championship, well t-shirt (no rings at our level). With the apprehension of my knee giving out, I remained braced and we left my first season back with a 2nd place finish.

The next season decimated us with our top scorers unable to attend many of the games. We were knocked down a division for this last season and things didn't start off too well either with a tie and a loss in our first two matches.

From there we never looked back, winning the remaining games and staying healthy throughout the season. We were joined last week by a player that had sat out for 2 season while his ankle break recovered. This was particularly good timing as our lead scorer suffered a near identical knee injury as I had and has been left to surgery, two blood clots and a long road to full recovery.

After having been given the go ahead to play without my brace, I fretted about the decision, knowing that one event can rock my hard training and leave me in pain and remorse. But how can I live life with fear and remain in a "what would happen if" stupor? That wouldn't be fair to my competitive side and always having that question in the back of my mind would drive me to distraction.

I began the game without the brace but brought it for security in case my knee felt weak or I lacked confidence. As it turns out, it was the right decision to bring the brace to recover from both weaknesses.

After the new injury, I hobbled off the field during play, limping slightly, and immediately berated myself for being injured. What was more frustrating was I believe that the injury would have occurred regardless of wearing or not wearing the brace. After putting the brace back on, I sidelined myself long enough to regain some confidence and head back out onto the field. While I felt my knee slip a little and show more play laterally than I would have liked, the pain was bearable and I had a team to support. Within a couple of minutes I had a goal and was satisfied I could survive the game and see us through a victory.

The victory came, the victory photograph was taken, the victory t-shirts were dispersed and I left the arena fretting over a new injury, unable to fully enjoy the team's first victory in 1.5 years of "Storm" existence. Upon my arrival and home and after showering, I iced the knee for an hour while reading before retiring to bed.

This morning, even as I write this entry, I'm still in some minor pain and highly concerned over the well being of my knee. Should I go back to the ortho and confess my folly? Should I take a season off? Should I continue on as normal, bracing each game and continue with my strength training hoping that the injury, whatever it may be, will magically go away? I have this legitimate concerns and others and I constantly find myself distracted by the questions.

Time will be the wise deliverer of the answer to my questions. Eventually I'll heal and my aggressive thirst/hunger for the sport I've loved my whole life will be a memory in life. But for now, the pain is real, the discomfort annoying and the championship accomplishment overshadowed by a singular moment of happenstance. Such is life.